The luck of the Irish

WARNING: slight tangent ahead.

Yes readers, a slight tangent ahead. This post is not much about writing, though I guess you could say it is about reading – or not being able to read.

There was a slight accident on Adelaide’s O-Bahn rapid transit bus way yesterday. Two Irish tourists had just arrived in their hired motor home in our state capital city. They decided to follow a local bus. Either they were very inattentive, or couldn’t read the prominent signs. The bus was entering the O-Bahn track which is designed only for buses to travel at high speed. These buses are on a guided track and do not have to be steered. They often travel up to 110kph between stops. On leaving the track they can then travel on normal roads (but then need to be steered).

The motor home travelled for about 2 kilometres before being clipped by a bus travelling in the opposite direction. No-one was hurt in the incident. The Irish driver has been charged with being drunk while driving Allegedly he had a blood alcohol reading of 0.154, three times the legal limit here in South Australia.

I can’t remember what is written on the signs at the entrance of the bus way, but they are large, clear, explicit and unmistakable.

Not to everyone it seems.

Link:

And now for a group writing project…

Robert is one of my regular commenters here on this blog.

And I’m one of the frequent readers (and occasional commenters) on his blog called Middle Zone Musings.

Every month Robert runs a group writing project. I must apologize to him for never having contributed to one of his world-famous challenges. So this month I thought I’d give it a go. What’s more I’ll even give the project a “kick” start by promoting it here. Go ahead – have a go.

All the details can be found on his post called “What I learned from…the world of sports.”

Good writing.

A pleasant writing surprise

I had a pleasant surprise relating to my writing last week.

An editor of a magazine sent me an email requesting that I submit an article for one of the magazines she edits. I didn’t have to go through the normal process of sending a query or submitting an article on spec and that makes it a pleasurable experience. What is more – she actually specified several topics she wanted me to consider writing about. That took out the frustration of not knowing what to write about.

After a few hours of thought I set to work and the words flowed quickly. They actually flowed a little too well, and before I knew it I had way too many words. Nearly 600 words when the limit was strictly 450 words. My wife thought that this was typical of me. “Your writing is too flowery,” she says. “Too many unnecessary words.”

So I set to and did some ruthless pruning. Much to my wife’s surprise I soon had the word count down to 447 words.

Writing Hint: when an editor specifies a maximum (or minimum) word count, you ignore that figure at your peril. That is a sure way to get rejected.

Anyway, the article was soon on its electronic way to the editor. Now – I wonder if there are any more editors out there lining up to send me similar emails??? I doubt it, though this would be nice. Truth is, the editor in this case is a friend. Never mind – it is nice to get a break like this from time to time.

Now – back to getting stories, poems and articles sent off to all those editors too busy to send me invitational emails.

Good writing.

The Adventures of Nancy – Grandpa has a birthday

Hi there readers,

Nancy – the dog with attitude here again.

I nearly forgot to mention a very significant event. It happened about two weeks ago. I was so busy I forgot to tell you about it.

Grandpa Trevor had a very special birthday. It was his 60th Birthday too. We had a special party for him. Uncle Simon and Aunty Leanne came over from Sydney just to see me. Well, I suppose they came to see Grandpa too. And my Mum was there too. And Rose and Keith who are Grandpa’s friends. They are Butch’s mum and dad – but Butch didn’t come which is just as well. I didn’t want to share my piece of cake with him.

We had a good party.

You can see the birthday cake in the photo below.

Talk to you again soon.

Nancy.

PS: When Grandpa is not writing or busy playing games with me, he likes to look at Australian birds. That is why there one on his cake. We didn’t eat the bird because it has a magnet on the back.

Trevor's 60th Birthday Cake

Trevor's 60th Birthday Cake

Short Story: “Blue Skies”

“Blue Skies”

Frank opened his eyes. He struggled to wake up fully. He heard a strident noise near his left ear. After about fifteen seconds he groaned and rolled over.

“Stupid alarm clock,” he muttered as he thumped the little monster into silence. His eyes felt as heavy as bricks. His parched throat screamed for moisture. His muscles ached and his legs seemed tied to his mattress.

Frank raised his head a few centimetres and then let it flop back into the softness of his pillow. It felt warm, comforting, inviting and had an alluring softness. He lay there looking at the ceiling. The small black spider mesmerised him for several minutes.

“I must get up and get ready for work,” he thought. His eyelids drooped and he felt himself drifting off into a light slumber. He was suddenly jolted awake again by his watch alarm. As he sat up he swung his legs around and sat on the edge of his bed. He raised his hands to his head. Dizziness washed over him with a surge of nausea. His temples felt as if a knife was piercing through to his brains. He sat there for another five painful minutes. He yawned loudly at least a dozen times, his eyes watering with the effort. His jaws ached as if he’d been chewing all night. One of his back teeth ached. Reluctantly he dragged himself to the bathroom.

The soothing warm shower helped him to wake up a little. Still the yawns come frequently, endangering his face as he shaved. Thankfully he endured no cuts or nicks from his razor. As he dried his face he noticed several patches where he had missed some whiskers. He didn’t care. It was too much effort to lather up again. “Must buy an electric shaver,” he thought. As he dressed he realised he had no ironed shirts. He felt too tired to bother about ironing another one, so he scrabbled through his shirts until he found one with only a few creases. “My jumper will cover them,” he muttered.

He had no energy to make himself anything for breakfast. He stared at the shelves in the fridge. He grabbed a cold sausage. He took only a few bites before throwing the remainder in the bin. He sipped slowly at his coffee. It tasted foul and he left half a mug to grow cold. He sat staring out the window at the back garden.

Weeds grew profusely everywhere. Frank had lacked the energy for so long now that his garden resembled a wilderness. Every time he thought he had the motivation to attack his backyard jungle, his energy lasted barely ten or at best thirty minutes. “That jungle needs a week of weeding, mowing, cutting, digging and a mountain load of energy.” He hadn’t had enough energy for even an hour of effort now for many months.

He turned his stare at the wall clock. He had to leave for work now or he would be late. Ten minutes later he was still staring as the second hand swept around repeatedly. “Just like my life,” Frank snapped. “Just going round and round and getting nowhere.” He felt glued to his seat. He tried the coffee again. It was stone cold. He knew he must move, but the muscles wouldn’t work. He sat for another ten minutes. Only the sudden urge to relieve himself gave him the impetus to move. He sat on the toilet seat staring at the large spider in the corner. It had trapped a fly and was beginning to eat its victim. “Just like me,” he thought. “Trapped in a web of no escape. Life is about to consume me. I might as well be dead. Nobody knows, nobody cares. Even I don’t really care any more.”

A few minutes later – it felt like hours – he found himself in the lounge room. He curled up in his favourite chair. He stared at the television screen. It was blank. His mind was blank. His headache was much worse. He couldn’t remember if he’d taken a painkiller. His jaws ached too. He tried to relax his jaws. It lasted fifteen seconds and the aching returned, the teeth grinding together creating a horrid crunching noise inside his head.

“I must leave for work now,” he thought. He tried to get up. Instantly he flopped back into the chair. He noticed that his legs were twitching. He looked at his hands; they were shaking violently. He tried to stop them but without success. Waves of nausea engulfed him as the knot of fear twisted in his stomach. “I can’t, I can’t I can’t,”  he kept mumbling. “I can’t do it.” His whole body was now shaking violently with his silent sobbing, the crying inside of him trying to release all of his fears. He felt like screaming; no sound came forth. He curled up into a ball on the seat, rocking gently in his agony.

About an hour later the telephone rang.

All rights reserved.

(C)  2007 Trevor W. Hampel.

This story was first published in “Studio” Issue #102 June 2007.

Readers’ comments and responses are invited. Use the comments section below.