Archive for the 'Humor' Category

What laws have I broken?

I needed a small snack this afternoon.

Nothing unusual about that. I usually have a light snack mid afternoon – it’s my way of managing my diabetes so I don’t have a hypo just before dinner.

I had to open a new packet of cracker biscuits. Accidentally I tried to open the bottom of the box. My attention was drawn to the words: “Open other end”.

That’s quite a demand, but it set me thinking. What if I refused? What if I rebelled? What if I opened the wrong end of the box?

If I followed my instincts and my sometimes perverted sense of humour, what laws would have I broken? Is it against local council by-laws? Perhaps I’d flaunted a little known state or federal ordinance. Had I broken some important international treaty?

Suitably warned, I took the safe, soft option and obeyed.

Saying it differently

I enjoy reading the works of writers who say things differently.

It is so easy to slide into clichés, to over use words and especially phrases and expressions which are so old and familiar that their corpses are not only rotten; they smell worse than a skunk sprayed dog before it’s been washed.

It is a rare event when a politician, public figure or some other prominent citizen comes up with something arrestingly original. I laughed out loud earlier this week when I heard someone say, in reference to our federal government, the following words:

“They promised us the world, but they just showed us a picture of an atlas.”

How wonderful.

More power to the people out there not content to squirm in the mud of mediocrity, but make an effort to create new ways of making their point.

Good writing.

Deleted scene from “Hamlet”

I have it on good authority that Shakespearian experts have discovered a previously unknown snippet deleted from William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet.

Apparently the bard originally had Hamlet, Prince of Denmark, sitting at a table with a blank sheet of drawing paper and a range of drawing pencils in front of him.

Hamlet, looking at the pencils, scratches his head and says: “2B or not 2B, that is the question.”

Poem #40: Easter Eggs

Easter eggs,
Easter eggs,
They’re everywhere in town.
Easter eggs,
Easter eggs,
Chocolatety and brown.

Easter eggs,
Easter eggs,
How I love to munch –
Easter eggs,
Easter eggs,
For breakfast, tea and lunch!

Easter eggs,
Easter eggs,
I have a simple plea –
Easter eggs,
Easter eggs,
Give them ALL to ME!

© 2008 Trevor W. Hampel

All rights reserved.

Updated April 5th 2016.

What’s in a name?

Sometimes I come across the name of a person that is strangely appropriate to their occupation. In today’s local paper I was amused to read a letter to the editor from a Dr. Pain. I’m not sure I would like to consult him, especially if he turned out to be a dentist.

Some years ago in another life when I was teaching in a large country town in South Australia three of the local schools had cleaners with most appropriate surnames: a Mrs. Grimes, a Mrs. Brushnahan and a Mrs. McLean. At the same time the person overseeing the driver education programme in secondary schools of this state was a Mr. Driver.

Many years ago my wife needed an urgent tetanus injection, something that caused a little consternation on her part until she saw the nurse’s name tag: Nurse Panic. Her laughter eased the pain. A friend of mine also tells about a relative with delight: an instance of a Bishop marrying a Priest.